Everything will be different tomorrow...

What I've learned thus far...


Last night I dreamt with an old cassette deck. In the dream, I kept on playing "Linger" by the Cranberries over and over again. It was a Fuji cassette and in red faded ink it said "Elderly Women Behind the Counter in a Small Town." I couldn't help but wonder why it said that on the outside and what was actually on it was "Linger." I didn't understand the message within the message and I will leave it up to you to decipher. But I will tell you this, the mind is vast.

Vast: –adjective
1.
of very great area or extent; immense.

Like the ocean the sky and outer-space.

I don't think we understand its power. I think that we underestimate what we can do with our minds. I don't think we really understand when we so often read things like "thoughts become things"- because when they really do, we actually are left dumbfounded and wondering what happened. If only we would carefully listen to the voice of reasoning. If only we would concentrate in the things that we truly want to accomplish, the things that make us blissfully happy, and the things that we are meant to be doing. Ahh, but that is all too easy. So what do we do? We choose to focus on the things that we don't want to experience because we are so afraid of going through the pain, but what ends up happening?

After carefully thinking about my dream last night, searching the lyrics several times and trying to figure out the message I realize that I too was afraid. I was so afraid of losing you, that in the process I lost myself. But inadvertently something great has come out of the madness. Something bigger than me, something bigger than us, something bigger than I ever imagined my pain could ever be.

I can listen to our favorite song a million times and go over the same scenario in my mind time and time again but eventually hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away.

I've decided to remove all of my love letter posts from this blog after this, my 100th post this year. You know I'm such a fool for you...



Not at all,
Me.