Tomorrow is the big day! I must say as always bittersweet. Its sweet because you've found someone to complete you. Bitter because it is confirmation that we were a facade and nothing more which is okay. I miss the "idea" of us. You need someone just as needy as you. I am not that person. You need someone who is "devoted" to you. You need someone who thinks that love is best seen as devotion not only emotion. Someone that thinks that true devotion is action.
Devotion: 1. Committed love: deep love and commitment
2. Dedication: great dedication and loyalty
3. Enthusiasm: strong enthusiasm and admiration for somebody or something
4. Religious fervor: fervent religious or spiritual feeling
5. Act of devoting: the act of devoting something or being devoted to a particular purpose
Devotion is believing in someone or something. Devotion is also attachment. So I am happy that you have met someone who is just as attached and miserable as you are; someone that needs to be with someone else in order to feel love, and be happy. It's sad. To a degree I see that at some point I too was devoted to you; which is why I tried so hard to help you. But somewhere between the disrespect and anger I realized that the only person I should be hopelessly devoted to is me. We receive the love that we feel that we deserve.
I deserve better than you. I'm not sure what you deserve, but you must feel like you deserve whatever comes your way. The desperation in you is so evident. You told me yourself so many times that you were sick. You are- and maybe that is why you are marrying her.
My advice to you; Trust No 1
Still hopelessly devoted to,
Me.
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