"Big" Time

After much deliberation, it's time for the Big time. I'm turning the page and closing the book forever. Not quite understanding how but accepting what is. Do I think you lied? Well, yes and no- I think you lived more in the moment than I did. I think you thought more in the "now", and less in the later. I was in the long run of our moments, you were in the moments.
They were powerful moments that I will never forget. They were real while they were happening but they aren't real anymore and now I have to embrace my now instead of wondering how, why and when we got here. I got here , cause really it is just me.

Engaging,
Me- (Now)

Technology.

I did what I said I would never do and I hate myself for doing it. I would have rather cried myself to sleep every night.

You've got mail,
Me.

and the Bittersweetness lingers on...

Dear, Love

The truth is my accomplishments are accompanied by the bittersweet feeling of us and they forever will be. The closer I get to achieving my goals, the less I see you in my life.
The more evident your void becomes, the more I search to fill the emptiness and as the search to fill the void goes on, the more impossible it is to fulfill.

I understand that it is what it is. But, will I be happy to have succeeded and feel accomplished minus the void, or will I be empty when it is all said and done and continue the search to fill it?
No body knows what the future holds they say. I am certain of one thing that the future will never hold for me; us. Because I rather live in the search and linger in the bittersweetness forever then ever be humiliated, hurt and belittled by you.

You'll never know the exquisite pain that lingers, without the bitter the sweet isn't the same.

Forever Bittersweet,
Me.

PS
What a cruel thing to pretend.

Groovy Fact

Everyone was right about you, your family and my logical mind especially. I kick myself in the ass everyday, because I gave you the time of day.


Cry me a river babes.

Staying Fabulous,
Me.

Reality: Lights, Camera, #1 Me! ha ha!

Sew what's next...

Hint: 1911.

Pieces of,
Me.

ilyfe.

I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
You never loved me.